Life within me

Life within me , life around me, life that flows in endless ways. I am laughing, I am soaring, in this wonder quite divine. It astounds me, it confounds me, it sure sparkles up my days. I am vital, I dance slowly as I float away in praise!

Life is seeing, in your eyes the slow undoing of pain’s surprise. Life is being, in all my senses, captivating  beauty’s gaze. As I blossom and as I flourish, in the abundance of a kiss so sweet, I am settled in the knowing I am found and made complete !

Life exploding in its essence, it defines all things before. It is painting, and creating, such a story of renown. I can lift up hands that hang down, I can leap upon what’s dark. I am warring for the wonder of this love that’s made me spark.

Life within me, life around me, life that flows in  endless ways. I am settled in accepting, of this destiny engraved. I’m contagious, I”m spontaneous, and my journey has just begun. Now exploring the glorious notion of this unity profound.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

A Different Me

Culture, a way of being. It seems so settled, till we meet another living differently! My way seems so secure. “Of course, it all makes sense!” Until another – sees another me. How can that be! Who am I?  The one I knew or the one they see? It’s not a fight, it’s  just a change -both/and not either/or. So I live, alive and well, still learning more of what I will. I grow in light and see you there – a different me!

Culture, a way to see, a way to speak. It frames my thoughts and tunes my ties. It is and so am I! I live with you and we agree, to walk beside and dance with tunes. My feet are free- never stepping on your toes! Then somehow you appear beside, wildly suggesting a new dance tune. The dance is strange – so I must change! My habits deep, now disagree, this cannot be the way to dance with me! And yet I sense the joy!

Dancing with you, changes me! I’m alive to see my feet once more. They awkward feel and yet they seem – alive again! Soon, I am learning to be me, alive with you – and different within me! I now am learning, more of me. I see the world through different eyes. My world has changed! It’s grander still. Life is to be lived – not boxed! So now I bless this day, that opened eyes, and gave me more. I rest with arms spread wide!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Toads, Snakes and Hope

Toads on the sidewalk, snakes on the road, life in the tropics- a sight to behold. Sweat runs down freely, food comes with spice, you never know who’s coming over tonight! Life is much simpler, laughter is bold, even when hearts face fears never told.

Trust is a treasure, hope is a joy, people believe when life bares the soul. Children coming running, arms are thrown wide, when Freedom comes dancing with sensitive eyes. A hug breaks despair, a tear stings the eye, together is stronger with you by my side.

Water drips down, rain soaks the ground, rivers run muddy as storms shout their sound. Fruit falls down loudly, drumming tin roofs, silence is squeezed when night jams with sound. Breezes warm whispers lift heat’s heavy load, as friends relax quietly sipping what’s cold.

Meaning gives purpose, peace shatters fear, vastness entices when destiny’s near. Words shape my focus, songs lift my heart, surely becoming more than I thought. Experience widens, mentors give scope, journey’s adventure is fuelled with hope.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Facing the questions

As I meander in my journey, I am recognizing that all questions must be faced!

For example, the question – “Why do I crave something addictive?”- is at the root of many broken areas of life. Whether it is a chemical substance, an adrenaline rush or simply approval, if I do not find an answer, I will live in a shadow world – never realizing freedom. Always hiding, always struggling.

The challenge is to recognize those moments when the question comes bubbling up into my conscious mind as a gift of grace! The exact moment in time that it flows into my awareness is actually a moment primed for discovery! The moment has intruded in discomfort! It has grabbed my attention as circumstances have shone a spotlight on some aspect of my life that permits my eyes to see clearly, if only for a few minutes.

The questions when they float up into my thoughts, invite me to honesty. Each question asks me to face my fears and sorrows. Rejection, confusion, and intentional harm are part of life. Each event slices me open in many and varied ways. All of them unique, all of them painful! Generally I learn to run and hide, be angry, be busy, be dismissive, be arrogant, be strong, or be victimized. All of it, in a pattern of my own evolution.

The challenge is to let my journey teach me a courage that is grounded in hope. When I can not believe I really have a capacity greater than that which I have realized to date, I “have to” hide in fear. I can be so sure that I am on the brink of discovering my innate lack of significance! I will run away from this nightmare!

Yet, the journey also draws me into encounters that show me that I have purpose. It reveals unique attributes that no one else can quite exhibit – in the unique way I do. I find those others on the journey who delight in that uniqueness and find me quite refreshing – if I but have the courage to reveal myself and not merely be a mirror reflecting back the jumble of my bustling surroundings.

Each of us needs to find an answer to this question- “Who will look into my eyes and find me precious, or cherished, or loved?” I can be part of that answer! It does not take too much progress in the journey to discover that there is a spiritual reality that causes each one of us to sparkle in ways that makes me truly beautiful to any one who has eyes to see. Catch the sparkle – be the answer. Face the questions, find the answers! I have always been surprised by how many have been waiting to meet me! You will too!

Weeping

Desperation,

the sound of a woman

weeping,

caught between hunger

and the fear of what comes.

When poverty chokes

and there is no hope-

who do you turn to

for help that ends pain?

 

Choices,

I’m sleeping

with someone who grants food

to my little baby,

and shelter from rain.

When love is a phantom

and pain is my friend,

how can I dream

of innocence so clean?

 

Grasping,

I’m reaching to touch.

Feeling,

even one ounce of love.

Haunted, thirst is profound.

Why can’t you see?

Why won’t you help?

Why does my role play

not reach to your heart?

 

Peace,

shares my weeping.

Embrace,

wraps my heart.

Presence breathes – “I belong”.

Moments so precious,

seem easily lost.

Why can’t the world just stop?

 

Change,

comes with longing.

Life,

breathes in grace

as I shift how I see.

What keeps me hoping?

How will I laugh?

When will my spirit

sense home is my friend?

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Thirteen years old

Bright eyes, gentle spirit,

something stirs within her heart.

Soft eyes, depths within,

highlight joy’s insightful grin.

 

Spirit song, awakening mind,

sparkles seem to fly around.

Spotlight, on an artist new born,

Living gentleness easily torn.

 

Whisper’s memory, echoes grace,

Love’s release lifts brown skinned face.

Wispy curl, encapsulating life,

living to bless in spite of strife.

 

Destiny surges, mystery sings,

opening up this young girls wings.

Hope’s foundation links to heaven.

Welcome, to her love’s strong haven!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Diversity

The tropics are so rich! There is a never ending cycle of plenty. First one tree and then another comes into bloom. Certain plants sprout even while others are ready to harvest. Variety is unending. Our world is rich in its amazing ability to provide. Rich diversity is built into the fabric of life in this world as we know it.

Mankind is easily distracted by productivity rather than diversity. Quantity seems to stand tall over the quality of life. it is easy think traveling to 100’s of places is richer than exploring a few in depth. We sample our world as modern westerners rather than becoming intimately familiar with it. We frame assumptions from our brief exposures and believe we are the experts on life. Yet we live in solitary and often lonely monoculture environments.

Monoculture is our chosen answer to issues of efficiency and production. We eliminate diversity and narrow our dependence for life to one crop. We explore and analyze techniques to find the one technique which we  certify as the “best”! We build our lives on the best and wonder why we so often wander lost in our success! The when we plunge into diversity our senses become “jangled”. We laugh at the “chaos” of Life and pronounce on the wonder of our own efficient ways.

Yet if we take time to immerse ourselves in a jungle environment, and take time to really “see”, it soon becomes evident that there is a different way to be. The most productive part of our planet, which we are so rapidly eliminating, is vibrant with growth and diversity. It is a testimony of the timeless value of diversity, of variety, of a form of highly organized chaos! Life thrives and competes in a complexity that is breathtaking and beautiful.

I am taking time to sit back and lose some of my  assumptions and learn of the beauty of allowing my spiritual being  grow out of the confines of my modern boxes and return to a more diverse, and richer state of life. Let the jungle back in and allow the diversity and creativity of life introduce a chaos that will reward you with fruit in the most unusual and unexpected seasons of life.

Author – Bill Tidsbury