Scandal’s moment


Hope awakening,

Weary eyes opening

Shocked by grace’s Joy.

Inconvenient mercy jarring pains power.

Invitation’s calling card opening liberty’s account.

Destiny waits breathlessly in this moment of time.

Mystery reigns as choice meets possibility.

Shift emerges between two breathes.

Joy’s song greets birth.

Scandal’s moment won.

Breathing deeply


Author – Bill Tidsbury


Remembering what it means to “be”.

A light begins to shine in a broken man’s eyes as he hears words spoken that resonate with who  he once knew himself to be. There is a desperate need in each of us to be reassured that what we once held dear can still be possible once I find myself derailed and trapped in a foul prison.

It is amazing, that honesty is not difficult at times like this. There is a frankness to conversation that freely accepts responsibility for actions taken. Reflective regret tinges memories as a moment’s choice is seen as the start of a journey into despair. The eyes looking at me are used to seeing condemnation or even worse – the act of not being seen or recognized. They understand what it is like to be written off as flotsam that many wish could just be swept away.

Eyes will allow themselves to be looked into when the eye meeting them connects with the flame of life within. At times the impact is shocking! At other times, it breaks through the walls of shame and grief and lifts up a heart  into the realm of being.

Many wounded souls cease to be. Existing can happen for a long time with no sense of being. Motions are repetitive and destructive. There is a familiarity born from pain, that in some cruel way condemns while driving a soul forward into another day without hope.

When light shines in to my darkness, I am forced to confront my pain and being. While the breath of life is intoxicating, it also brings with it the agony of loss and the awakening sensation that burns when circulation is restored to a part of my body once numb with cold.

These moments are substantial. They require those of us, who desire to come alongside others and help them return to being fully alive, to be ready to be a friend. That is, someone one who sticks closer than a brother. To do otherwise is to raise hope and leave a wounded soul in a worse condition than before. It is cruelty to give a glimpse of hope and then walk away detached. I must value the person. A sacred being. This is why Jesus said – if you have done it onto the least of these – you have done it on to me.

Yet, “being there” does not change the reality of the sucking vacuum that devours all life around one whose identity is lost and being is just a memory. It does not stop the broken habits seeking release from horror. It does not shift the desperate moves of survival. Something more is needed to lift the darkness and breathe life into being.

Being “done to” will never help a lost soul find being.

It is only when the breeze of life interacts with the light that shines within a person’s spirit that something begins to happen. Somehow real spiritual connection with another being opens up a door to courage. There is a togetherness that invites them to reach out and lay hold of hope, to acknowledge the identity known deep within their fortress of despair, and begin living again. To be. The pain of living can be overwhelming, but the promise of redemption is that love’s triumph is real, tangible and powerful.

Life is not alone. Life is “being” and yet something more. It goes beyond words to spirit. The reality of the Spirit of Life flowing into darkness at just the right moment releases a connection that breaks shackles. The Spirit creates a restored  “being” that opens my life together with others whose song echoes my beauty and destiny back to me and lets me live again.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Fear’s contagion – Control

One of my growing convictions is that the church is severely impaired because we have not looked at the issues of power and control. We assume that the only way to have governance is through power and control. We adopt a  natural mindset and flow in patterns that lead to death.

Jesus said very clearly that if I want to be great, I need to choose to be least, weakest, most lowly. If I want to teach, I should take the place of a child. I don’t push forward to tell others, I ask questions – not to direct subtly, but to genuinely learn how another sees Life. I live as a servant, as a learner.

At core is the need to understand the goal. It isn’t external righteousness. It isn’t conformity to a behaviour standard. It is rather a transformed heart that flows in passion for you my Jesus and lives in abandoned surrender to you Daddy God in the flow of your living fire, Spirit.  Paul says to Timothy that the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart, a clear conscience and a sincere faith.

This transformation does not flow from power and control. It flows out of a relationship of love and trust with you my God. To get there we have to have love and trust with Fathers and Mothers. As we enter into the freedom of sonship we enter into Life.

As a person – a son/daughter of the Living God, I must understand that this Life depends on revelation. It’s foundation and vitality flows from experiential encounters with the One who is present; the I AM. Unless I engage in this moment and continue to walk out each second in the shaking reality of His presence, I will go around unrestrained. I will not have direction and purpose. I will fall back to living my life within words and define my Life within boundaries that flow from lifeless principles and ideas. This produces an external righteousness, which can powerfully demonstrate the amazing power of law to shape behaviour, yet all the while releasing death, as law cannot produce Life. Life is gifted by the Holy Spirit and Spirit can only be known in revelational encounters that open my eyes to see heaven and the King of Glory.When I am undone, I am transformed into His likeness and being.

Life is not open to external control. Our Daddy God,  alone has all power and is omnipotent.He alone holds the world in His hand and can direct any heart where ever He chooses. Yet, He is the One who invites me into love and relationship. He calls for me to give Him my heart. He invites me to choose, to come away and be forever lost in His embrace. This is a choice flowing from love not one that is forced or controlled. If I seek to be like our Abba, Daddy, I must choose to relinquish all thought of control and learn the art of wooing a wandering bride. I sink into a Life that models the dynamic of revelational intimacy that is contagious. I myself am captivated and unashamedly stand transfixed before Him. I weep; I shout; I dance;I sing new songs of a heart set free and forever lost in love. Transparently I give myself away so that anyone may see the wonder of love found.

In this, I shift the atmosphere around me. I move it away from control and the abuse of power and open heaven’s manifestation. I live the “good news” as incarnational truth. Jesus is manifested in me for all the world to see. I seek Him and speak His words. I don’t control you but we join together in a community of yieldedness before the One who speaks and holds our hearts in HIs hand. We hold His heart in tenderness and joy and would do anything to give Him His hearts desire – a glorious bride, a resplendent in beauty, lost in love for the bridegroom alone.

Perfect love casts out fear. When I see the desire to control arise in my heart, I know I have somehow succumbed to fear again. Invariably the enemy frames a rational obligation with godly sounding words that justifies my actions that flow out of fear. Control seeks to manage someone else for “my” sense of their benefit. Love seeks to give my life away sacrificially. I do this so that in some way I might demonstrate the infinite value of this son or daughter  before me. I gladly throw this life away so that the Beloved One might freshly be made known. I die so that you might live with no regard to the apparent futility of throwing my life away. I am His and He gave His life for me. I am His so I give my life to you – to be spent on the sacrifice and service of your faith. I don’t control – I love and in loving I live!

Encounter with the Lion


Dancing fiercely

Abandoned to Joy

Glistening, tangible expressive presence

Warrior’s proclamation; Dominion presides easily!

I’m undone by furious Joy’s vitality.

Dancing before me, he sets me apart

Gifted to freely live out loud!

Rising to fly, dancing barefoot

Earth receives heaven’s kiss

Heaven meets footprint

Shimmering pinions



People are love’s image reborn! Yet people so easily wander through life unrecognized.

People learn to cope. It is just part of our make-up. We quickly learn the limits of our own capacity. We learn to walk carefully around people who wield power and control. It is part of learning survival.In a few short years of life each person has found their path through the jungle of hurt and harm that is part of a broken world.

People are tough. It is amazing to see the level of resilience and the capacity to endure pain and trauma in many places of the world. People learn that pain passes. People learn that pain can be endured so that survival can be gained. People continue to press on in life in the face of insurmountable odds.

People are strong. It is amazing to see a small child lift and cary heavy loads in the hot noon day sun.  Watching women labouring for hours over hot stoves, employed at very small wages to make tortillas, can only be described as heroic strength. They have to earn food for their children and they have built great inner strength that meets the challenge of the day. They endure injustice and abuse and fight for the lives of their little ones on a daily basis.

People are in great need. There is sorrow in people’s eyes from the grind of poverty. There is horror that occasionally flashes as history reaches out its talons at a moments notice. Children’s faces show caution, as they wander with no food to eat, selling water under the hot sun.Men’s hopes are dashed as they struggle with the lack of productive work. Men drown their sorrows in addictions while their heart’s cry mingles with their own accusations. Anger rises, expecting someone, somewhere to act rightly , but few care.

People avoid. I am shocked by how easy it is to walk by a person in need. In fact need becomes an industry all by itself – creating a scepticism that destroys human kindness.  Avoidance takes on so many forms. Giving money is one form of avoidance. A small pittance can appease the need for action and allow each of us to retreat to our safe place. I avoid, because the question is so big and the answers are so complex and difficult to find. So we each work away at our needful activities muffling the cry of our broken world. We take steps to avoid – It’s so much easier to drive than to walk, and in driving I  have little time to engage with the needy I pass on a daily basis.

People have eyes. It is amazing to me how one small encounter with a person’s eyes can open a universe of wonder. Eyes sparkle when someone pays attention. Eyes shed tears when there is consolation. Eyes twinkle with delight when purpose and destiny is honoured. A beauty recognized in the dirt is forever marked by grace if I but take the time.

People want to dream. It is just how we are made. Little children have sweeping gestures that proclaim their ability to change their world. Little children laugh from the heart in the delight of being loved and encountering a world of wonder, even in the midst of poverty. It takes little effort to inspire a child of what could be. Even the weary adult will explore a dream – if only for a moment, when there is a connection of trust and the wildness of possibility captures their attention.

People are worth loving. It is funny how our own world changes radically as we soften our hearts and begin to reach out to the “masses” -to the most amazing treasure in our industrialized world. The pursuit of industrial production can so easily generate the impersonalization of the people who are its cogs.Yet, as I reach out and touch one human being at a time, I am again reminded that I can not engage the masses. My smallness only allows me to meet one person’s eyes at a time. I am so used to thinking on a grand scale. It is hard to place value on time with just “one”. Things remain, but people move on. So we North Americans love to build buildings in our kindness and rarely actually invest in the fabric of poverty’s heart. Broken hearts can so easily waste the openings to hope that can sound so promising to the wealthy. For the downtrodden, hope can seem an expensive  risk when set against the backdrop of their history of cruelty, loss and corruption.

People want to hope. However, the “concept” of hope has little value when someone is in the midst of trauma. What they need is a person of hope. They need to experience a human connection that wordlessly proclaims that they are amazing, that they have strength and creativity, and they are truly worth loving. Hope takes on substance when I am prepared to get down in the trench with them and slog through the mud for their victory. This only comes at personal cost. This only happens when I finally see that this person is really worth the pouring out of my person for their future . This broken world needs the treasure of each one of the billions, whose lives are currently being wasted in the grind of ignorance, poverty, corruption and violent abuse.We need each other.

People need honour. To honour, I must demonstrate that I myself have purpose and destiny. I must practically demonstrate that I believe that they also, have purpose and destiny  and as powerful people they can step onto the stage and transform their life. I am given the privilege of speaking identity into another’s being. I am permitted to enter another’s embrace in such a way as to proclaim them my family. I am granted the honour of resting into my need of their strength. Together we can shout out that life and love are worth living for. Together we are irresistible.

Behind all this, I must remember that “I” am people. I am finite, I need you. I need hope. I need love. I can not give of myself until I have Hope for my own future, my needs , my life. Each one of us must have an irrepressible source if we are to live giving. I take care of myself by pouring my heart in to the heart of Jesus who gave himself completely for me. He gives me strength, He overwhelms me with Joy. He creates songs in the night and celebrities the wonder of who He called into being when He made me. His flow is endless and always revitalizing, Out of this place of rest, I am free to be me, while helping to release you to be yourself so that together we can be forever irresistible.

Love calls and it is amazing how people all over the world respond with laughter and delighted hope.