Searching

Searching, as I wander, looking into doors. I stop and sort of puzzle, why my seeing is unsure. I catch a glimpse of sparkles. I seek a subtle key. Yet always hear a whisper, I’m sitting on your knee!

It’s hard to find your way, when things aren’t well defined. It really’s quite confusing, when most around seem blind. When seeing, yet you stumble, and finding only grasps a wisp, why is it I keep seeking, when what I find seems limp?

And yet I’ve touched some music. I’ve sensed a glorious roar. It wakens all my senses. It calls me up to more. I know within I’m changing. I can feel the hidden song, it’s close to breaking outwards, I can’t wait to sing along.

So still, I sit unsettled. I’m tired yet somehow free. I sit here waiting quietly for the next hint on the breeze. I haven’t fully tasted. I’ve felt the hint and soared. I simply always wonder, where have I not yet explored!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

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Is it Spirit or Magic?

I live in a world that longs for magic! I see the longing everywhere. It is found in movies, in video games and then sprinkled through out our media. It is captured in ads and in memes. It is a cry for solutions that fix pain and right wrongs inflicted against me. Magic opens pathways of escape and eliminates complexities in a simple stroke.

Magic involves the wonder of power. As a human being, I am intrigued by power, the ability to do something, to change something. I seek to exert control over forces that are malignant and “other” and I want to exert my desire and superimpose it on my world. I want my world to conform to my expectations – right or wrong. To put it bluntly, ultimately my fascination with magic is about my agenda and the longing to see it enforced! Many who actually would shudder to use the term “magic”, are actually eagerly seeking it – cloaked in much different terms!

True spirit is something different. For sure I can manipulate spirit to bend towards magic – it happens all the time. Yet true spirit is relational. It is forged in love. It flows out of a desire to give life away – not take it. It has its focus on releasing and empowering the originality and destiny in someone else. It honours and blesses. It delights in celebrating the wonder of you – who is so different from me. It invites me out of broken devastation and trauma and actually breathes a uniqueness known as redemption – a transformational newness. I need redemption! We all do!

This other dimensional reality of spirit is powerful and it is glorious. It transforms – not by outward magical imposition,but through internal intimacy and invitation. It is the difference between a sword fight and the electric moment when eyes meet, love flows and beauty is born in being. I don’t want magic, I long for the realization in my community of the vastness, electricity and eccentricity of life in the Spirit. It makes me smile!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Strength on the journey

Where does strength come from, when I am digging deep? At times it seems ephemeral and disappears as quick as steam. Other times, I find it sits as if with bated breath, just waiting for the invitation to change my helplessness.

Strength,is really quite mysterious as it strolls through out my life. I seem to have it most, whenever I need it least! And then in times, when I’m desperate and so low (and wishing life would play) I find that it evaporates and all I have is clay!

At times, my strength does come in joy. It seems to seethe and roil, when my cup just overflows. There’s moxie in my strut and life’s so effortless ! Then there are the times, when all is settled and still, and in these quiet reflections, I find my trust is real. Strength wraps me lack a blanket and stills my heart with grace, I find a gentle knowing that triumphs o’er all I face.

Why can’t my strength be malleable? Why can’t I plan ahead? I want to safely say, I’ve got things covered – for this day! Yet, life gets complicated. It’s an act of faith. I need to trust you as my friend and hope in God again.

So once again I’m feeling weak, a cry arising shrill. I need to ask a favour, for strength along the way. I stumble blindly, needing help and wishing for a blessing strong. I lift my face, feel your caress, and drink in deep of that which flows, mysterious fountains,  granting freshness in my drought below.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Awakened by a kiss

Bright eyes, questing minds, seeking hope in future things. Two friends, heads tilting, dreaming of small delights coming down the pike. One vagrant on the  move, stopping, boldly asking for the Pepsi still half full. Two young teens, suddenly vulnerable, sitting on a shady bench. Two young women in a public space, the years suddenly yelling with experience raw. Instinct reacts and with something small, dodges with sorrow the aggressor’s power. Suddenly, a moment with small unconscious moves, what is mine is passed over, avoiding danger looming tall.

Life when captured, as if frozen, reveals so much. Things unspoken, still unthought, yet in action shining clear. Risk aversion in a violent world, teaches quick submission to the one who roars. Sudden moments so easily reveal, the difference between what’s peace and threats dipped in blood. Actors who play unspoken songs, living and breathing in the world of fear. The male though running, from others strong, can still reach out and strip the weak, just walking along.

Life is settled in moments like these. Can one question motives? Can one really see? Was the moment but gracious, as one gives to the poor, or was the moment but hidden, a form of extortion ridden. Decision, surprises, that reach out and show, this world is more complex than I often can show. And yet in this mix, as I walk in my song, I give to each treasure a piece of my song. It seems that it can’t fit, so divergent the grinding, and yet in some moment, I find someone still humming!

So hope must live on, and life must be braved, my neighbours are waiting to grasp dreams that aren’t frayed.  I have no great power, I have no great plan. I’m simply an instrument , alive in His song. It is good to be joyful, and greeting the day, with hope for my destiny opening the way. I brush  with delight, each tender heart finding, I listen with patience to those who’re still blind. I send voltage tickling the soul unaware, those sweet spirits caught  by the withering of pain. And once in each day , I am sure to discover, some bright soul that is waiting to kiss their heroic. I walk with delight, seeking one who is dreaming, so that heaven’s kisses come wakening their vitality of being!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Good Morning!

How to start my day, as the sun reaches out to play, across the wall and slowly say,I’m alive – to walk again with  wonder spun?

    To see a delicate butterfly,

iridescent in blue, flitting across the landscape dancing with no dance floor in view.

To drink in the surge of the wave form,                      cresting and crashing ashore,

playfully racing to greet, each glint of its journey’s end.

Sinking in gentle warm water,

embracing the salt as it swirls.

My face can only see blueness,

resting in ocean’s caress.

Flowers that wave in the breezes,

visually shouting their song,

laughing in all of the glory,

this day has only begun!

Branches as massive as tree trunks, lazily stretching to shade, sun dappled shadows now playing beneath a sultry hot sky.

Winged creatures now soar unending,

circling in endless slow flight,

weaving the currents that loft them,

into patterns that capture my sight.

Life is ever before me, offering hope each new day.

 Rising – with courage now calling, feeling my cool shower’s spray!

So,

I live gently knowing,

Beauty’s gift comes in a sigh.

Whispers that comfort and hold me,

my Lover’s birthright says “Hi!!”

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Mystery flowing

When I met her I just knew-

I could see it in her eyes-

she just seemed to be alive,

to all that’s good and  true.

She smiled in such an easy way,

She graced the world with peace.

She opened life to others.

She caressed it with her gentleness.

 

Life communicates it’s essence,

Whether dark and full of fear,

or in close encounters shining light.

In that moment when our souls meet,

we can often strip veneers.

Live that’s lived in seeing,

the wonder and the song of now,

can bring a mystery flowing

from heaven’s throne to mourning sighs.

 

She, the one so full of life,

was also torn by sorrow.

Her dear departed daddy lay,

beneath a somber cover of clay.

Her grief was real, and so I reached,

I touched in grace – felt the pain.

United in life, yet mourning loss,

we stood, two souls amazed and near.

And then we parted, two different ways!

I wonder what the moment meant

when seen from there beyond the grave?

Author  – Bill Tidsbury

Strong arms

Fatherless,

young brilliant doctor,

just longing, dreaming of hugs.

Hoping,

her hear tuned for blessing.

Knowing-

her anguish so brutal,

no whisper this side of the grave.

 

Weeping,

a child’s heart breaking.

Teardrops that gently heal wounds.

Settling,

inside this father’s embrace.

Guarding,

life- although rugged

can still be braved.

 

Tear stained,

brilliant eyes seeking contact.

Gentleness, the very kiss of love.

Comfort,

so entangled with heart song;

still feeling,

these strong arms of love

giving promise today.

 

Two souls now joined in amaze!

 

Joy,

does come in the mourning

when mercy’s gift embraces raw pain.

Life,

flows out to delight me,

blessing each heart to sing praise.

Resting,

a dear heart, free and so brave!

Author – Bill Tidsbury