Life within me

Life within me , life around me, life that flows in endless ways. I am laughing, I am soaring, in this wonder quite divine. It astounds me, it confounds me, it sure sparkles up my days. I am vital, I dance slowly as I float away in praise!

Life is seeing, in your eyes the slow undoing of pain’s surprise. Life is being, in all my senses, captivating  beauty’s gaze. As I blossom and as I flourish, in the abundance of a kiss so sweet, I am settled in the knowing I am found and made complete !

Life exploding in its essence, it defines all things before. It is painting, and creating, such a story of renown. I can lift up hands that hang down, I can leap upon what’s dark. I am warring for the wonder of this love that’s made me spark.

Life within me, life around me, life that flows in  endless ways. I am settled in accepting, of this destiny engraved. I’m contagious, I”m spontaneous, and my journey has just begun. Now exploring the glorious notion of this unity profound.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Facing the questions

As I meander in my journey, I am recognizing that all questions must be faced!

For example, the question – “Why do I crave something addictive?”- is at the root of many broken areas of life. Whether it is a chemical substance, an adrenaline rush or simply approval, if I do not find an answer, I will live in a shadow world – never realizing freedom. Always hiding, always struggling.

The challenge is to recognize those moments when the question comes bubbling up into my conscious mind as a gift of grace! The exact moment in time that it flows into my awareness is actually a moment primed for discovery! The moment has intruded in discomfort! It has grabbed my attention as circumstances have shone a spotlight on some aspect of my life that permits my eyes to see clearly, if only for a few minutes.

The questions when they float up into my thoughts, invite me to honesty. Each question asks me to face my fears and sorrows. Rejection, confusion, and intentional harm are part of life. Each event slices me open in many and varied ways. All of them unique, all of them painful! Generally I learn to run and hide, be angry, be busy, be dismissive, be arrogant, be strong, or be victimized. All of it, in a pattern of my own evolution.

The challenge is to let my journey teach me a courage that is grounded in hope. When I can not believe I really have a capacity greater than that which I have realized to date, I “have to” hide in fear. I can be so sure that I am on the brink of discovering my innate lack of significance! I will run away from this nightmare!

Yet, the journey also draws me into encounters that show me that I have purpose. It reveals unique attributes that no one else can quite exhibit – in the unique way I do. I find those others on the journey who delight in that uniqueness and find me quite refreshing – if I but have the courage to reveal myself and not merely be a mirror reflecting back the jumble of my bustling surroundings.

Each of us needs to find an answer to this question- “Who will look into my eyes and find me precious, or cherished, or loved?” I can be part of that answer! It does not take too much progress in the journey to discover that there is a spiritual reality that causes each one of us to sparkle in ways that makes me truly beautiful to any one who has eyes to see. Catch the sparkle – be the answer. Face the questions, find the answers! I have always been surprised by how many have been waiting to meet me! You will too!

Diversity

The tropics are so rich! There is a never ending cycle of plenty. First one tree and then another comes into bloom. Certain plants sprout even while others are ready to harvest. Variety is unending. Our world is rich in its amazing ability to provide. Rich diversity is built into the fabric of life in this world as we know it.

Mankind is easily distracted by productivity rather than diversity. Quantity seems to stand tall over the quality of life. it is easy think traveling to 100’s of places is richer than exploring a few in depth. We sample our world as modern westerners rather than becoming intimately familiar with it. We frame assumptions from our brief exposures and believe we are the experts on life. Yet we live in solitary and often lonely monoculture environments.

Monoculture is our chosen answer to issues of efficiency and production. We eliminate diversity and narrow our dependence for life to one crop. We explore and analyze techniques to find the one technique which we  certify as the “best”! We build our lives on the best and wonder why we so often wander lost in our success! The when we plunge into diversity our senses become “jangled”. We laugh at the “chaos” of Life and pronounce on the wonder of our own efficient ways.

Yet if we take time to immerse ourselves in a jungle environment, and take time to really “see”, it soon becomes evident that there is a different way to be. The most productive part of our planet, which we are so rapidly eliminating, is vibrant with growth and diversity. It is a testimony of the timeless value of diversity, of variety, of a form of highly organized chaos! Life thrives and competes in a complexity that is breathtaking and beautiful.

I am taking time to sit back and lose some of my  assumptions and learn of the beauty of allowing my spiritual being  grow out of the confines of my modern boxes and return to a more diverse, and richer state of life. Let the jungle back in and allow the diversity and creativity of life introduce a chaos that will reward you with fruit in the most unusual and unexpected seasons of life.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Free to be with me

Life – can feel so drab and faded as my heartbreak mourns. I know I am made for something bright and clear! I’ve heard the sound of glorious music. I’ve felt the distant drums. Something thrums and stirs when Life seems withered – so bare upon the floor.

Visions – call from deep within. Light erupts with splendour unannounced.  This intrusion of colour and joy’s crescendo awakes my soul. Grasping my imagination’s screen I suddenly see beyond that which had me bound. I know I’m so alive when I see what really could be me!

Beauty – a caress that’s so evocative, yet quite ethereal, comes gently to embrace my heart. Something springs awake that really once was dead! I know I cannot help but be enchanted as I dance upon my feet, that until  today, only knew this dusty clay.

Desire – that which pulls me into, the song that sweetly marries that which roils within my being. I’ve awakened to the lie I thought so true. I’m something more than flesh and bone! I live to recreate the wonder of a world newborn upon this darkened plain.

Vitality – that which joins Life with beauty and desire. The wine of heaven breathing into this expanse, releases fragrance sweet and light, transforming bitter loss and grinding pain. I am renewed, I see that joy is always in my hand if I but set You free to be with me!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

What is life to me

Like the wildness of open country, and the thrill of mountain tops comes life in each encounter to delight my beating heart. Life steps in as vast as craggy peaks disappearing off into the haze. Yet it is captured in a meeting of the eyes, the instant when two souls engage and graciously reveal their inner core. That moment is an act of trust, of generosity, of vulnerability, of hope and of kindness shared. Just two souls greeting each other’s uniqueness – giving birth to  precious astonishment. Life shared willingly across a gulf of solitude.

Life is the warmth and serenity of a warm summer forest floor – pine scent arising, breezes meandering. It is captured in the merry sound of a tumbling brook that splashes through cool mossy canyons and lazily opens up in sun dappled pools. It is seen in the stillness of being accepted, the assurance of being – settled into identity; confident that purpose and meaning come together in my own uniqueness that releases me to smile with myself!

Life rings out in the intensity of a powerful storm, whose thunder shakes and rumbles as only tropical thunderheads do and then release torrents of rain that are warm and glorious. It is felt in the vastness of a cold starry night when stars leap out at you with brilliance;  when a shooting star trailing across the darkness shocks you with its glowing wonder, leaving you breathless. It is possessed when spirit opens up the stunning reality that experience is much vaster than any physical sense can contain. When a stretching into eternity occurs that overloads the physical circuits and shatters the boundaries of the mind. There is a vibrancy that answers dreams of beauty and produces concepts that have no words. It opens a thirst that is unquenchable and yet so surfeit – in the same breath!

Life is grasped in that flash of fear when adrenaline rushes through. An electric jolt occurs when one small step almost brings death searing into the soul. I see the place below where on the rocks I would have flown!

Life is not alone! Life is relational, Life has a name! Life’s grace is blessed, when shared and savoured as the smoothest wine. It goes down slowly and warms the palate as friends and family create a legacy of being that is written indelibly even after I no longer walk around inside this home.

This is life to me!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Destiny’s throne

Birds song fills the air when light is bright.

Frogs thrum loudly when shadows fall.

Through it all the river runs, within its predetermined course.

Lizards feint and flee the field, when sun’s warmth prompts their moves in day.

Nightfall brings the buzz of beetles as they flirt with beacons in the dark.

All these creatures each have rhythm. The dance of life within their frame.

Flowing – always seeking substance. Function filling destiny’s aim.

 

A world in green is filled with beauty.

Shadowed by a sky so blue.

When the colours shift within it, life displays it’s brilliance born

as the tarnish of destruction steals away some vibrant hue.

In the process of survival, loss bursts forth as stains that roam.

Yet in the midst of struggles failure, something rich still lifts its head.

New growth blossoms, hope emerges, even when the colour’s all are bled.

 

Death and life seem all entangled, collisions forming in a maze.

Still the grace that calls me upward, kisses  barrenness once again.

Process always is unfolding, change is part of this grand play.

Delicacy – it seems so fragile, so at risk of harshness’s roar.

Yet in moments of reflection, I glimpse transformation’s glory.

As this journey is unfolding, life delights to sing its song.

As I learn to dance within it, my destiny’s throne.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Living in mystery

Mystery is without.

Unseen yet felt, a hint that breathes a fragrance of possibility. Unknown, yet hauntingly familiar, this tendril calls each one forward. It is an echo of a song that is new, and so I ponder – how can I hope for something that I have not yet known? Yet I do!

Stirrings, that hint of things that are shaking. Imponderables that move with a precision which I can’t define! Force that quiets my heart and yet makes it beat wildly. It clearly is an invitation to each one who has any sense of imagination. Questions in the night!

Sleeping, yet on the verge of wakefulness. Images cascade and grand visions speak portents of destiny – which slowly fade as I awake. Disturbance quivers on the surface of my soul as if brushed by a touch of electricity. I seek, yet I cannot speak!

Confidence – courage leaping as if a trout out of water; explosive in it’s expression! Where did that come from? Out of the depths, unusual images that impinge on mundane circumstances. Familiarity shifts, momentary fractals appear in my reality. Why now?

A greater reality sits behind. I run and yet I hope I am found! Purpose chases me and I myself seek answers to enigmas within my being. Fountains hint at vitality that should be, but somehow fades! The mystique of an essence trapped within yet waiting to kiss my future.

Mystery is within.

Author – Bill Tidsbury