Dancing on the breath of the wind

From my Journals – in 2014

In a world of Spirit I am learning a place without words – that goes beyond words yet is so full of impact and meaning! Words can shape a direction but the power, vastness and beauty is so magnificent that all my soul and spirit can do is shake. I become undone before this One, this King whose presence swells and shifts everything.

I am invited in! I don’t even know where, only that it is with – this One who is love. This One becomes so vitally my Hope, my Life. In this presence I have my meaning, my context, and yet, I don’t intellectually know how this all fits into my small world. The pieces I sense are just so vast! Still, I know instinctively that they fit. I have experienced pieces meshing and it really is glorious. It makes something inside swell with happiness!

I’m loved, held and filled with destiny. This place is so full of delicacy and earth shaking power and they  are intermingled in this amazing inner world of spirit. It calls me to flow in life not strive. It draws me into a different way to live. I am aware of the impress of your seal of fire on my heart. It glows and vibrates and still it is intertwined within my smallness.

As a result I don’t want lifeless words, activity that falls to the ground still borne! I yearn for my breath to be full of the essence of presence – You! You are vibrant Spirit, life giving, tender, gentle and yet earth shaking in majesty.

So – I am a son born in light, dancing to your touch and moving on the breath of the wind.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

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Learning to live in Eden

Children dazzle, then they squabble!

Life is full of twists and turns.

When what’s wanted is unrequited,

how do I live and then not mourn?

When what hurt leaps up to wrestle,

things once hidden leap forth to scare.

Will I gently walk beside you,

or stir your shame to still my roar?

It is mercy’s grace that kisses,

in moments of greatest need,

as a heart attuned to wisdom,

does caress your proffered hand.

Then together, forgiveness flowing,

and with eyes now gentled, kind,

children learn to live in Eden

even while wearing shoes that bind.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Words unformed

Spirit spins a hazy vision

as it calls out in the night.

Words unformed must take on substance

when a soul can not take flight.

In the churning mess of chaos

as new sounds coalesce in form,

then the beauty of orchestration

fills a score with Life’s delight.

Spirit settles into secrets

almost haunting with their flair

as the ego seeks to banish

all of generosity’s varied fare.

When I rise, identity’s sparkle

leaps in joy out to the earth.

Then the drab does kiss the reason

for the song that breathes new birth.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

A moment shifts

Revelation –  awakens most unusually!

People swarm, seeking something new

as I wander with them blind and so afraid.

Then a moment  shifts my senses,

to explore a world I haven’t seen.

The marvel is, it entices me to fly!

I have stepped across a threshold

and find His whisper shifting my despair.

Now, electric is my present,

while I sense a tremble rising,

I muster up my courage

to leave the norms behind.

Stepping through I’m wakened by this lightening

that’s expansive and sublime,

opening possibility’s connection

to my destiny’s design.

I’m marvelling in the wonder

as my spirit meshes into Life.

I embrace the grace of heaven

as I dance with joy inside my head.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Spirit connections

Paths of light radiate in streaming fluid fire- liquid gold – Incandescent journeys through to destiny!

Light calls forth light. Glory splashes and dazzles glory. The yearning harmonies of light inviting the dance of lightness – opening childlike delight and laughter. A heart melded into symphony with Immanuel.

This is the Father’s invitation to join Him within. Intimacy, in the midst of fire! Present within a vaulted cathedral – expansive sapphire blue – harmonies coalescing into substance. Inheritance crystallized on the tendrils of faithful love – gently offered – lifted high and returning heavy with the dew of Heaven that shatters dark earthen barrenness. Life opens into the infinity of magnificent Hope.

Life of the Lover! Joy of the captivated!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Invitations

So…. I stand on the shore of your sunshine. I look into beauty that is bright. I hear the moment of your coming, and blossom with wonder and delight. I’m invited without limits into greatness, the brush and roaring thunder of your renown. I pause at times upon the threshold ….. balanced in this moment of a heartbeat. I cannot fall back into comfort… I feel the furious stretching of resolve. I rest within the embrace of your abandon and begin living in a song I cannot sing!
The melody is vast and all expansive, the depths vibrate more than earth’s travail, the glorious exclamations pierce the heavens, and so my being creates art — with delightful laughter left in hungry hearts now fed!
Author – Bill Tidsbury

Spirituality and Presence

The essence of my reality, as I walk through life, is that I have been granted the astounding grace of being united with a human being named Jesus.  The inexplicable process of how the almighty creator became human is not something I understand. It is equally inconceivable how it is that He has chosen to draw me deep into His heart, into His reality.

I live with my feet in two worlds. One is essentially 3 dimensional and in many ways overpowering to my senses. The other is spiritual, which sounds ethereal, and yet is not. It’s substance continuously expands my awareness of what’s possible and shifts my comprehension of seeing.

As I feel heart pain and struggle and see the devastation of poverty, I do find it easy to begin to shut down – to distance myself in some way from the inhumanity of powerless poverty. Yet, I also find something surging in me as I learn to see differently. I sense the immensity of a superseding reality of a good Daddy God who actually is eager to intervene in the misery which I see. Eager to see through my eyes. He is intensely passionate about expressing Himself through my hands, through my words.

It is one thing to imagine some deity actually interested in my small interactions – it is another thing to sense power flow, to see change occur, to observe real physical miracles occur. I can sense when it happens! It isn’t about my capacity. It isn’t about the way I set my mouth or frame my words. It is tied in some yet unknown way, to my internal connection to that other world and the reality that I actually can see out of His reality into mine. When that occurs, I sense the shift in perception. I sense a shift in my internal balancing of these immense realities. I shift from hoping , to one of knowing. A certainty that flows from out side of myself and breathes anticipation and vitality!

I’m on a journey, as we all are, to understand the nature of our world. A journey to comprehend the realities of both spirit and natural. It is a journey of growth, of development. It is a journey inherently dependent on humility, on compassion, on transparency and vulnerability. All of these things do not come easily to me!

Somehow, something is morphing within my being. I am more comfortable with mystery. I am more accepting of the reality that I can’t control very much and I am prone to mistakes. I am easily confused and distracted! And yet, I am pulled in with ever increasing excitement as I taste something that is truly breath taking. Something freeing and extravagant. Something so good, I laugh every time I am brushed by His essence.

So gradually, I am learning to rest – to dwell – in quiet acceptance of the beauty of being drawn close to a mighty heart that breathes love, gentleness, compassion, goodness, laughter and creativity. A heart that is ever so eager to freely act to lighten people’s loads, with no prior requirements of any kind! A heart that is truly delightful in all its effervescence. A being that is powerful beyond comprehension, yet sits quietly as I adjust myself to the beauty of being found in Him.

Life is good. Life is rich. Life is so freeing! So I live in hope and yearn for more of the fire of His reality!!

Author – Bill Tidsbury