Ache for Fire

I ache for Fire!! Yet, it is so easy to just live on the edge of presence. I seek a Fire that shakes and consumes my being. This is a Fire that opens heaven’s essence and releases a fragrance that is unknown here in my natural world. I know Jesus, that You come to me in a way that is unique and impossible to define when I approach you in fire!!
I do recognize that there is always an opportunity to live with purposes that are less ragged. This is ever so much more reasonable! There is always an invitation to settle in to something less violent. There is always a place of being that is full of good things, of rich things, of blessing and comfort yet situated just to the side of fire.
I look at these offerings. Clearly, much can be accomplished when situated beside a fire. I see many wonderful works that are providing encouragement and they sit just next to fire. On the one hand, I question the cry that rises like anguish in my being, if I sense the drift into a place were the vibrant power of fire is quieted. And on the other, when I feel the brush of Fire something mighty stirs in my spirit.
I wonder: Why is it so common to be at ease with little fire? Is there no anguish of heart? Are there no tears felt by those who sit on the edge?
I simply do not know!!
I do know that I cannot stop longing for more of something I have only tasted. I know that a Fire burns somewhere that is an answer to the shaking that at times buffets my spirit. I feel the cry of our broken world, the harshness of the violence unaffected by good and strategic movements. “Nicely organized” may perhaps work smoothly in a finely cultured place. However when poverty ravages and bloody hands grasp, something more is needed.
A fire must burn that turns our eyes into fountains of tears. A fire must burn that will not rest until the reality of presence is more than an idea spoken about in beautiful songs. A fire must consume me and not allow me live unless I see something arise. A Kingdom that is powerful and invites with hope, the bloody, guilty hand. A Kingdom that is gentle and lies in the ash heap with the wounded victim filled with horror. A Kingdom that will not rest until justice is established in this ravaged place that has the promise of so much beauty.
Yet the mystery remains, how do I let that Fire truly unsettle my life and bring transformation that is from heaven?
A Fire that brings joyous laughter in the midst of the rending sorrow of injustice. A Fire that opens Life in the midst of our torn up world. Not a Life that is full of platitudes and endless words, but, a Life that is full of vibrant electricity that delivers freedom, that opens cages, that grants men honour who have lived in dishonour. A Life that answers women’s yearning for Beauty and breaks the back of oppression.
I feel it raging within me, and I run again to you my King, my beautiful Spirit of Fire, to be undone before my Daddy God – whose presence alone causes the hills to melt, and say “I need You”. I need to be torn apart in a process that only you can accomplish, so that Fire might be released in me. I can not live without your Fire. I can not endure something that is simply “nice”.
I see so may who have come to terms with “nice”, with achievements, with evidence that change is happening. Yet there is no powerful transformation.There is a small lifeboat in the midst of a raging stormy sea. This storm is full of blood and travesty that continually visits broken lives.
We all know that there are millions wandering in pain and tremendous suffering. Millions dying daily. Our times are too dire for simply “nice” responses. The need is vast, much bigger than anyone of us can even conceive!! It truly is a need that requires a response that shifts the earth and brings great shaking. It can not be won by strategic thinking!! It can not be won by careful calculation.
I believe that it can only be won by those willing to pour out their lives, as laid down lovers. Asking nothing but that the Fire would somehow burn in the beauty of a tumult that is Love. Something pure, something just, something powerful and far from “nice”. Something that shakes our sense of personal greatness and allows us to give our lives away for the sake of the One – who is Jesus and who is most seen in the child crying before me or the marginalized person that I just stepped over.
And so I struggle seeking to learn a peace and stillness that creates a hearth for Fire. A life that allows a Love to blossom and flow in a way that supernaturally changes the elements in my world around me. All this, outside of my control, so I live “not knowing”, yet, hungry, pressing in for that which only You , my King can do if I but allow your Fire to be my Life!!
Author – Bill Tidsbury
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Revelation

A humble heart laid open,

Passion released into being;

Identity expanding into light.

 

The willing transformed by love

Birthing hearts devoted to worship;

The irresistible flow of fiery grace.

 

Prisms of iridescent colour,

Rhema words pursued by fire;

Cascading offerings from His heart.

 

Creative words ricocheting

Blazing trails of glory;

Exploding flames, ministers of light.

 

The joy of purpose fulfilled,

Immersed within heavenly realities;

Transfiguration is our destiny.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

On longing.

From my journals – summer 2016:

I grope somewhat dis-jointedly – and yet with perseverance – somehow I keep coming to a certainty that I know the “direction”!  I have tasted of You! When I brush You, I find You more than I could ever hope and long for. Something turns over in my heart. It is on such a deep level that I can not even frame it. Yet, it is foundational to my being. It forms the substance of my reality and in touching it – it shakes and resonates and resounds. I can’t even describe this location – it encompasses me! It stirs a deep yearning that is so vast that something within me quells to countenance it!

Yet, I am drawn in – even as my being scatters, unable to cope, to process that which I embrace. Even in the scattering there is a cry of loss – of longing to somehow to step in and remain – to abide. That place where my life is suspended, where eternity ravages existence and breath taking fountains erupt within impossible spaces which can not exist in my fragile frame.

So, I am still caught between what is and who You are. Knowing who I am has so much more substance than that which is. So I rest in Hope, I know whom I have believed in. I have tasted of a glory I can’t conceive. It is so beyond anything I can reach – yet, it continues to draw near – inviting me to “be”. Stillness exists within the Life which streams unseen and paints my future with colours and songs not known or described. Fullness stretches the limits of my narrow gaze – and so – I continue to be drawn in!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

On Soaring Wings

When I fly, I soar above created things in the brilliant glory of who you are.

And

–  I shake and yet it feels so good!!

I move -Upward into fire.

Your presence surrounds me,

Your lightenings call forth fire.

There is a joy in gracious overflow that sweetness life.

It tantalizes my sense of grace.

It speaks of possibilities beyond my experience.

It speaks of sources that are ever deeper-

Beyond!!

Sensing flavours,

elements that become so faint

when separated from their being.

They draw me in – they call!

I step in –

-something is awakening!

It tantalizes me with a thirst for something new,

– more colourful

– more energizing,

-more gracious,

-more intimate.

A zest that will always grow

more —more —More !!

More so marks the realities of the Kingdom of His Spirit!!

When I soar I live,

When I live, I am known!

When I am known I belong.

When I settle into belonging,

I have everything my Daddy God has released.

 

I’m released! – I’m no longer earth bound. I soar in the presence of forever!

And somehow – all this just makes me smile!!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Spirit’s call

The Spirit of God moves soundlessly over the verdant mountainside. The breath of God quickens life as it sweeps over tamarack and cedar. It stirs awareness as it brushes by deer and elk and then descends over the city of man.

This city lies securely between the hills, sleepy in its distracted pursuit of life and toil.  Anguish roils the breast of so many. Brutality lurks under the thin veneer of nicety that is ubiquitous in the Canadian heart. These two victims play off each other as the enemy steals life away from small victims and shattered hearts.

There in the darkness, buried deep within aching hearts, lays a treasure sought by the Spirit of healing and love. The Spirit’s call is much more urgent in the city of men. There is a yearning deep in the heart of this lover for the whispered exclamation of discovery from the heart of a torn beauty. The Spirit seeks a voice; not rocks and cedar but something warm blooded and gentle; not the deer in the valley but you and I.

We are the Beloved one’s found ones. We carry His heart’s desire for the wounded. The Spirit prompts and stirs. Surely someone will yield their heart and voice to this crowning moment?

Life expectantly searches you and I, seeking a voice to call forth possibility; a voice to give body to the passion of the Spirit’s call for life- a voice of Life to breathe Hope to the broken and release the prisoner.

We the bride, stir a little wondering – Did I just sense something?? What unusual feeling just tantalized my busy life?

Now is the time.

Will I arise and plunge into this moment? Will I step into the adventure of racing with Life to open possibilities with the one I love? Sweetness that shocks our senses comes when we run together with our Beloved.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Life and light through a keyhole

Your call is so incessant – your cries seem to shake the very foundations of the earth. Yet, Life in humanity’s hectic sea seems to plunge on heedlessly with little apparent regard for the echoes that resound.

What causes the deafness to your voice? Why do we seem to find it so easy to crash through the invitations of your love, to carry on with our hopeless distractions?

It is like the tossing waves of the sea. They are incessant and crash restlessly against the rock, simply to surge back again and again. Repetition that is noisy and predictable.

What creates a pause in people’s lives to let in the sound of heaven?

What can stop the fear long enough for the grace of peace to open a door to a new reality?

People hurt and people hide. It is the norm of life.

People peek out, rarely feeling safe, hoping for a breath of something with life. Caution is the watch word of one who is broken. Walls are the offering of choice to dangerous strangers – and most  are dangerous strangers – even many who we are familiar with.

So grace stands alone with out stretched arms and solitary silent cries lie hidden in the recesses of caves – wishing for an encounter that would breathe vitality.

Daddy God, so many of your children live with light streaming in through the keyhole of a door that has been given us in you, Jesus. We delight ourselves with that glorious light that is streaming into our darkness through the marvellous keyhole. We fail to realize that the keyhole is intended to accept a key to throw open the door that the Prince of Life might come in and give full illumination. But that would shake our world and expectations too much.

And Love does not cross boundaries! Love yearns and offers Hope and Life. Love wills that some response, somewhere, would activate a flood. And so Love waits. Love waits for the one to respond. Love lovingly looks for the glimmers and stirrings of curiosity that will stir the frightened child out of their cave to seek the wonder of Heaven – today.

I want to live fully alive. I want to glow with light transcendent. I am committed to walking out of the cell and racing into the light of your presence – today – here and now. I really can’t countenance not living alive. If I can’t be fully alive right in the midst of my now, then I must run somewhere, with someone until somehow I can not stop glowing! Life is too precious  to be wasted gathering encumbrances. We each have our weaknesses that draw us down into mediocrity. The tantalizing prospect of something better – tomorrow. Not NOW.

And so Life calls – and so few answer – waiting for a better offer that will never come.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Passionate abandonment

I am a God of passion.

To know me, is to be touched by fire.

Love is incandescence!

My glory blazes in blinding light.

I cannot be forced to share my glory with any other.

But you — I have loved and drawn to me.

 

I am a God of joy – it was for the joy set before me that I pursued you to the death.

It is my joy to share my glory with the one that willingly draws near to my heart.

To know my glory is to know my passions.

To know my passions is to be lifted high in glorious joy — and also to be torn asunder!

 

Ahh!! God. Who can have the courage to pursue you to the death??

 

Those who have given themselves over to the passionate abandonment of love!

 

Abandonment to love is not a dance of words.

It is to have your very life pressed out of you into my broken world – into the lives of the hearts I long to know. It is choosing to see, then share in the tragedy, sorrow and devastation that flows in the wake of injustice.

I yearn  – oh that my lovers would act to reveal the vastness of my heart through your blood, sweat and tears. Will you stand in between?

Love  the hurting with a passion – it’s how I live.

Love messy hearts with a passion it’s how you share my joy!

Author – Bill Tidsbury