Spirit strength

Subtle promptings seem to guide,

faint suggestions slip fleeting by.

I sense a breeze, a breath of life,

that pulls me to a dear heart’s sigh .

 

Eyes that look are dry and clear,

yet in their depths there lies deep fear.

A faint ephemeral wisp of hope,

it stirs within, disguised – alone.

 

No one can see, no one does feel,

yet Spirit strength bends in to heal.

To see beyond the chic facade,

and wrap a heart in arms of love.

 

An entity profound does live,

within the reach of those who stretch.

They grasp at hope in spite of dread

and meet the one whose hands died red.

 

Those red hands come embraced in me.

Warm love ignites those eyes once dead.

Real life made near by Love divine,

stirs laughter’s spring where anguish dreamed.

Author  – Bill Tidsbury

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Facing the questions

As I meander in my journey, I am recognizing that all questions must be faced!

For example, the question – “Why do I crave something addictive?”- is at the root of many broken areas of life. Whether it is a chemical substance, an adrenaline rush or simply approval, if I do not find an answer, I will live in a shadow world – never realizing freedom. Always hiding, always struggling.

The challenge is to recognize those moments when the question comes bubbling up into my conscious mind as a gift of grace! The exact moment in time that it flows into my awareness is actually a moment primed for discovery! The moment has intruded in discomfort! It has grabbed my attention as circumstances have shone a spotlight on some aspect of my life that permits my eyes to see clearly, if only for a few minutes.

The questions when they float up into my thoughts, invite me to honesty. Each question asks me to face my fears and sorrows. Rejection, confusion, and intentional harm are part of life. Each event slices me open in many and varied ways. All of them unique, all of them painful! Generally I learn to run and hide, be angry, be busy, be dismissive, be arrogant, be strong, or be victimized. All of it, in a pattern of my own evolution.

The challenge is to let my journey teach me a courage that is grounded in hope. When I can not believe I really have a capacity greater than that which I have realized to date, I “have to” hide in fear. I can be so sure that I am on the brink of discovering my innate lack of significance! I will run away from this nightmare!

Yet, the journey also draws me into encounters that show me that I have purpose. It reveals unique attributes that no one else can quite exhibit – in the unique way I do. I find those others on the journey who delight in that uniqueness and find me quite refreshing – if I but have the courage to reveal myself and not merely be a mirror reflecting back the jumble of my bustling surroundings.

Each of us needs to find an answer to this question- “Who will look into my eyes and find me precious, or cherished, or loved?” I can be part of that answer! It does not take too much progress in the journey to discover that there is a spiritual reality that causes each one of us to sparkle in ways that makes me truly beautiful to any one who has eyes to see. Catch the sparkle – be the answer. Face the questions, find the answers! I have always been surprised by how many have been waiting to meet me! You will too!

Children at play

Auburn mantle, flying in the breeze, imagination sparkles as delight unfolds.

Wonderful ballads acted out with glee, as children’s delight transforms a curb side sea.

City’s busy residential maze,opens with magic, as wings spread wide,

Siblings laughter and mighty glorious roars, announce with joy, that mighty fear’s been  neatly fried!

Monsters rage as mighty champions roam, flying high in victory’s endless song,

Tender hearts sharing, learning life’s routines – shaping focus through experimental scenes.

Wandering back slowly, home’s warmth ahead, stomach’s grumble shouting, “time to eat now!”

Hands held close – companionship’s supreme. Hearts sharing victory, make dancing dreams leap free!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Questions from the Journey

Why does illusion attract?

Why do I find comfort in lies?

Why does fear leap so high,

creating this hunger to hide?

How does my thinking go silly?

How does my seeing grow dim?

How do I turn down the volume,

on that voice that says it’s not right?

When do I bury my head?

When do I simply choose sleep?

When do I curl up in sorrow,

waiting for it all just to end?

Who is really my friend?

Who is the one who deceives?

Who is the one who must choose,

where my pathway will lead?

What can I do to find hope?

What can I do to just rest?

What is the way to rest in your love,

and dance through the darkness instead ?

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Trusting

Trusting as I rest in the safety of your arms,

quiet in the sensing of serenity so strong.

Looking into eyes that are still and full of hope,

I twinkle, gently pleased with what I feel this day.

 

Yet, in those moments when pointy questions seem to rise,

speaking softly in the echo of my soul.

Queries that bring ripples and the sucking sounds of fear-

things that speak of “maybe”, only adding to the score.

 

Trust becomes embattled, clearly headed out the door,

Things begin to crack and then decay.

I am faced with confidence lying shattered on the floor,

My dreams are bleeding, likely stillborn, as I’m dying in dismay!

 

Yet, hope can still be certain, when anchored strong in love.

Love that is as fierce as lions, holding to the core.

Betrayal often circles built on lies and biting pain,

actually stealing trust from whence it came.

 

When in pain uncertain, when all seems lost in agony,

then is still the moment to trust again.

Love believes, and dreams while clinging to this thing,

I have seen you at your worst and still I see:

 

You’re all that’s beautiful,

Still, all that’s kind,

and all that’s carried me through to this time.

 

I sense,

Pain inexplicable,

Fear unavoidable,

shame that is despicable,

needing trust’s kiss once more.

 

Trusting, still believing, that together we can live,

I step into your arms and listen once again.

I know we’re both imperfect, but still so bright,

in hoping and believing we can travel in the night.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Awakened by a kiss

Bright eyes, questing minds, seeking hope in future things. Two friends, heads tilting, dreaming of small delights coming down the pike. One vagrant on the  move, stopping, boldly asking for the Pepsi still half full. Two young teens, suddenly vulnerable, sitting on a shady bench. Two young women in a public space, the years suddenly yelling with experience raw. Instinct reacts and with something small, dodges with sorrow the aggressor’s power. Suddenly, a moment with small unconscious moves, what is mine is passed over, avoiding danger looming tall.

Life when captured, as if frozen, reveals so much. Things unspoken, still unthought, yet in action shining clear. Risk aversion in a violent world, teaches quick submission to the one who roars. Sudden moments so easily reveal, the difference between what’s peace and threats dipped in blood. Actors who play unspoken songs, living and breathing in the world of fear. The male though running, from others strong, can still reach out and strip the weak, just walking along.

Life is settled in moments like these. Can one question motives? Can one really see? Was the moment but gracious, as one gives to the poor, or was the moment but hidden, a form of extortion ridden. Decision, surprises, that reach out and show, this world is more complex than I often can show. And yet in this mix, as I walk in my song, I give to each treasure a piece of my song. It seems that it can’t fit, so divergent the grinding, and yet in some moment, I find someone still humming!

So hope must live on, and life must be braved, my neighbours are waiting to grasp dreams that aren’t frayed.  I have no great power, I have no great plan. I’m simply an instrument , alive in His song. It is good to be joyful, and greeting the day, with hope for my destiny opening the way. I brush  with delight, each tender heart finding, I listen with patience to those who’re still blind. I send voltage tickling the soul unaware, those sweet spirits caught  by the withering of pain. And once in each day , I am sure to discover, some bright soul that is waiting to kiss their heroic. I walk with delight, seeking one who is dreaming, so that heaven’s kisses come wakening their vitality of being!

Author – Bill Tidsbury