A sense of flow

The sense of flow in the Spirit of God is something quite extraordinary!

We sometimes have hopes that something will occur and we wait with delight to see if it does. However, when I am in the middle of what the Spirit of God is doing, things shift. There is a certainty of what will happen! There is a shaping of words and actions that were not in my mind moments before. I move, yet the dance is with someone who is magnificent and who leads with purposeful love. I know with bated breath that something will happen – something miraculous! Not at my behest, but out of the heart of a Daddy God who delights to bring fresh surprises as a taste of His amazing commitment to each one of us.

So the joy of the dance in the Spirit is full of surprises! It isn’t about me. It is about shifting circumstances in people’s hearts and bodies. It is all about a magnificent  being who expresses a deep desire for relationship with gentle demonstrations of His capacity to support and call out dreams and hopes. He heals brokenness in hearts, he sets people free of old bitterness and trauma in a moment of encounter. All impossible but oh so amazing to see and experience! Welcome to living as a son or daughter in a realm of Love! It is just a fun way to live!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

I’m possible (impossible)

Wandering echoes within my heart, sure seem to hint at things that aren’t. Yet as I meander on the beach, I sense the waves and feel the heat. The smooth and gentle motion flows between my senses and then slowly goes,  to a hidden place, lost and faintly felt; to nether realms where they simply melt.

Yet though unseen, unfelt, and flown, they hint at more of me I wish I’d known. At times I wake as if from dreams, quite sure I’ve tasted of something keen. But no, on waking as I look about, I’m still within the same old boat. A tear leeks out on the worst of days, I had so hoped, I wasn’t in some daze!

And yet, one word when spoken with light, can come along and twist this plight. This word that glows and brings sparkle’s reign, burrows deep within my dreary plain. It stirs up something within the maze and suddenly the ground is crazed.  Momentary shift, with laughter brimming , I’m curious now – “Where have you been hiding!”

When mystery rises, and pressure roars, from deep within my unknown shores, I must decide and dare to breathe; I leap and move, though sure I can’t leave. Within this tension, I’m caught in worry, between a  past that smothers and new hope’s full story. There’s passion soaring yet fears start roaming, I feel choked and frozen – but hah!!- something is growing!

The moment explodes, and now I know,

I can step away (and be safe today)

– or –

I forget my grief and feel the flow,

I follow the dance, I sparkle with joy. It’s when I know fear’s only a ploy. So I break with shame and find my life, I fly up high when I’m not in strife.  I shatter the stillness of death’s embrace, and open my heart to Your hidden face.

I dance with You, all my answers are gone! And yet i’m sure, that I’m known and found. A waltz invites, creativity cascades. Multivariate universes just seem to rave! What I knew of me, seems now so faint, and I wonder how I could have been so quaint! I’m possible, engaging, I’m stepping free, my song’s a delight when sung with glee!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Strong yet quaking

to expect, to hope, to be, to see.

i lose this all when I seem to freeze.

What “is” just seems to fade,

what “will be” then seems to rage.

Alone, uncertain – what i need is you!

Strong arms, quiet comfort,

feeling ease in spite of noise.

I know, I’m strong, that is so true;

Still here i quake!

What went wrong?

Where’s is the knave betrayal’s face has shamed?

Still in the silence,

once again I hear a song.

The song that swings my heart aloft;

that breaks again horizon’s line.

I’m free! Together with you – I am me!

To be, to see, I expect in hope.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Children at play

Auburn mantle, flying in the breeze, imagination sparkles as delight unfolds.

Wonderful ballads acted out with glee, as children’s delight transforms a curb side sea.

City’s busy residential maze,opens with magic, as wings spread wide,

Siblings laughter and mighty glorious roars, announce with joy, that mighty fear’s been  neatly fried!

Monsters rage as mighty champions roam, flying high in victory’s endless song,

Tender hearts sharing, learning life’s routines – shaping focus through experimental scenes.

Wandering back slowly, home’s warmth ahead, stomach’s grumble shouting, “time to eat now!”

Hands held close – companionship’s supreme. Hearts sharing victory, make dancing dreams leap free!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Love’s found joy

Trust is instinctive,

a reaction embedded

when brushing by others.

You step on the stage,

and show I can live,

scandalously free.

 

Trust is essential

to breathing and more.

Trust is from heaven.

A mystery so great!

It washes my pain

with your eyes that rain!

 

Trust is a beauty,

with eyes fixed

upon me,

protecting me,

lavishing sparkles,

that flow through my day.

 

Trust is a whisper,

that hints of a promise,

while splashing my dance floor

with music so lively,

it brings me vitality

while quieting fear.

 

Trust meets me kissing,

inviting transparency,

blessing with secrets

the one who would dare

caress me with tenderness

while holding me bare.

 

Trust is between us.

so your eyes gives me wings!

My heart begins flying,

cause trust leapt to soar.

Trust is my freedom

because love’s found joy.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Vulnerability fulfilled

I need.

To long for and to feel deep lack, presents an interesting encounter with myself!

When I long for something that I lack – I meet the shattering reality of vulnerability.

In vulnerability, I am exposed! I feel naked.

 

Naked!

This moment is either great freedom – or a shocking encounter with vulnerability/ weakness.

Freedom -if I’ve learned the glory of being beloved, desirable, unrestricted and unashamed.

Weak – if I feel exposed, open to ridicule, aggressive depersonalization and risking harm.

Shame tells me which way I went.

 

To yearn.

If I cry for that which I can not exist without, I find hopelessness waiting at the door.

Unrequited longing is exhausting! Who needs it??

So I bury it and pretend that I can survive independently.

 

To be.

This calls out of me a humility that reveals my character. I am complete yet vulnerable.

My life’s trauma does not determine my humility. Humility arises through courage.

Have I risen to the challenge of facing that my natural state is naked!

 

I receive!

The wonder of the gift of love comes in my weakness and acknowledged need.

I need you! I stand naked and unashamed knowing that vulnerability releases greatness.

In your eyes I find me and am infinitely fulfilled!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Inherited Identity

When life flows out of grace, there is tremendous freedom that comes with it. The essence of grace is Your Life freely given – pouring and cascading through our lives. It isn’t that I have to “do” anything, it is just the nature of your Life within me.  You flow freely through who I am. To not experience the wonder of your extravagant flow requires me to withdraw and barricade myself within my walled isolation so that the wonder of my internal resurrection does not come crashing in on me! If I but open my eyes – if I but risk a peek – what I find shimmering within is treasure. It is immeasurable! Treasure to be discovered – so different from my accepted internal negative dialogue. In fact, it is uncomfortable enough for me to be quite certain that it cannot be a part of me!

And yet,

It haunts me, once I’ve peeked, because its essence resonates within my being. I know I have been created for more. The wonder of your grace roars out over my destiny and calling.

To relax into a larger inherited identity is glorious because it arouses Life, vitality, expectancy, power, possibilities and curiosity! It is full of shift, full of intense knowing. It trembles with an anticipation that roars and a victory that overcomes and shatters fortified gates. It is beautiful and generous, open and kind and so perfect for me.

It is the answer to my longing, the joy of my song and it’s flow sets my heart dancing and my feet leaping. It crushes the enemy and his darkness beneath my feet!

Freedom and grace live together. Running and hearing are twins. Laughter and the King are synonymous!

The Kingdom is ever increasing. I either ride the wave as it grows or I get off and hide – yearning for a vitality I want to box and watch safely! Life is only alive when it is wild. Grace is free, grace is extravagant. Grace is wild. Don’t live with glory chained – soar on the wind, ride on the heights, leap into Life!

Author – Bill Tidsbury