A Different Me

Culture, a way of being. It seems so settled, till we meet another living differently! My way seems so secure. “Of course, it all makes sense!” Until another – sees another me. How can that be! Who am I?  The one I knew or the one they see? It’s not a fight, it’s  just a change -both/and not either/or. So I live, alive and well, still learning more of what I will. I grow in light and see you there – a different me!

Culture, a way to see, a way to speak. It frames my thoughts and tunes my ties. It is and so am I! I live with you and we agree, to walk beside and dance with tunes. My feet are free- never stepping on your toes! Then somehow you appear beside, wildly suggesting a new dance tune. The dance is strange – so I must change! My habits deep, now disagree, this cannot be the way to dance with me! And yet I sense the joy!

Dancing with you, changes me! I’m alive to see my feet once more. They awkward feel and yet they seem – alive again! Soon, I am learning to be me, alive with you – and different within me! I now am learning, more of me. I see the world through different eyes. My world has changed! It’s grander still. Life is to be lived – not boxed! So now I bless this day, that opened eyes, and gave me more. I rest with arms spread wide!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Facing the questions

As I meander in my journey, I am recognizing that all questions must be faced!

For example, the question – “Why do I crave something addictive?”- is at the root of many broken areas of life. Whether it is a chemical substance, an adrenaline rush or simply approval, if I do not find an answer, I will live in a shadow world – never realizing freedom. Always hiding, always struggling.

The challenge is to recognize those moments when the question comes bubbling up into my conscious mind as a gift of grace! The exact moment in time that it flows into my awareness is actually a moment primed for discovery! The moment has intruded in discomfort! It has grabbed my attention as circumstances have shone a spotlight on some aspect of my life that permits my eyes to see clearly, if only for a few minutes.

The questions when they float up into my thoughts, invite me to honesty. Each question asks me to face my fears and sorrows. Rejection, confusion, and intentional harm are part of life. Each event slices me open in many and varied ways. All of them unique, all of them painful! Generally I learn to run and hide, be angry, be busy, be dismissive, be arrogant, be strong, or be victimized. All of it, in a pattern of my own evolution.

The challenge is to let my journey teach me a courage that is grounded in hope. When I can not believe I really have a capacity greater than that which I have realized to date, I “have to” hide in fear. I can be so sure that I am on the brink of discovering my innate lack of significance! I will run away from this nightmare!

Yet, the journey also draws me into encounters that show me that I have purpose. It reveals unique attributes that no one else can quite exhibit – in the unique way I do. I find those others on the journey who delight in that uniqueness and find me quite refreshing – if I but have the courage to reveal myself and not merely be a mirror reflecting back the jumble of my bustling surroundings.

Each of us needs to find an answer to this question- “Who will look into my eyes and find me precious, or cherished, or loved?” I can be part of that answer! It does not take too much progress in the journey to discover that there is a spiritual reality that causes each one of us to sparkle in ways that makes me truly beautiful to any one who has eyes to see. Catch the sparkle – be the answer. Face the questions, find the answers! I have always been surprised by how many have been waiting to meet me! You will too!

Diversity

The tropics are so rich! There is a never ending cycle of plenty. First one tree and then another comes into bloom. Certain plants sprout even while others are ready to harvest. Variety is unending. Our world is rich in its amazing ability to provide. Rich diversity is built into the fabric of life in this world as we know it.

Mankind is easily distracted by productivity rather than diversity. Quantity seems to stand tall over the quality of life. it is easy think traveling to 100’s of places is richer than exploring a few in depth. We sample our world as modern westerners rather than becoming intimately familiar with it. We frame assumptions from our brief exposures and believe we are the experts on life. Yet we live in solitary and often lonely monoculture environments.

Monoculture is our chosen answer to issues of efficiency and production. We eliminate diversity and narrow our dependence for life to one crop. We explore and analyze techniques to find the one technique which we  certify as the “best”! We build our lives on the best and wonder why we so often wander lost in our success! The when we plunge into diversity our senses become “jangled”. We laugh at the “chaos” of Life and pronounce on the wonder of our own efficient ways.

Yet if we take time to immerse ourselves in a jungle environment, and take time to really “see”, it soon becomes evident that there is a different way to be. The most productive part of our planet, which we are so rapidly eliminating, is vibrant with growth and diversity. It is a testimony of the timeless value of diversity, of variety, of a form of highly organized chaos! Life thrives and competes in a complexity that is breathtaking and beautiful.

I am taking time to sit back and lose some of my  assumptions and learn of the beauty of allowing my spiritual being  grow out of the confines of my modern boxes and return to a more diverse, and richer state of life. Let the jungle back in and allow the diversity and creativity of life introduce a chaos that will reward you with fruit in the most unusual and unexpected seasons of life.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Not the Same

Apples come in different shapes.

They hide behind their colours too.

Each one distinct and yet alike,

create a symphony that brings delight.

 

Mangos I have found

salute this custom so profound.

They all hang high up in a tree,

when eaten, have such individuality.

 

And then of course there is the face.

We all have one –  I think it’s grace!

Yet how it is I fathom not,

With just a smile – derail my thought!

 

And what about that sense of mirth,

It crops up with such violent birth.

It’s spasm’s quivers are quite unique.

Yet all enjoy its invasive tweak.

 

When I surprise a latin scamp,

I am amazed at backwoods imps,

they look at me from neath the table

cause I have skin that’s white not sable!

 

Women when in violence raised,

can see with dread these men who haze.

Yet both alike need someone kind,

to heal the wound they’ve been consigned.

 

Difference is a gift most sage,

It’s grace invites to end the rage.

Cause when I feel discovery’s bliss,

Love  dances out and plants a kiss!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Birthday boy

What a wonder it is to stand upon a rural hill,

to see distant jewels shine – a city’s light that sing.

Below and all around, the glow of man’s abode,

And then above the mysteries of night’s fresh face.

 

Singing, celebrating, with friends who’re seen as poor,

I feel intimate and happy honouring a friend’s new year.

People come together, to share life as its lived,

Bound  to love and honour while overcoming fears.

 

Songs are sung for birthday boy, rich food joins the feast,

then erupts the singing for the cake that comes.

Candles burn in a humble home, the floor is only mud.

Yet the Spirit brings a treasure that money cannot buy.

 

Wrapped up in this evening as lightening flashes high,

feeling gentle rain arrive, so warm and innocent!

Coolness settles, day’s heat flees, good conversation’s flowed,

Learning life is blessed with hearts entwine; it’s good when we can love!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Day’s heat

Heat beats down, scorching earth below.

Who would believe that shadows bring such relief?

Sweat trickles slowly down my spine.

Hazy heat wraps me like a shroud.

 

Walking shifts the scene as time slows down.

Many choose to stroll, wiser to the pace of life.

Distance comes towards me through the humid haze.

Trees are such a breath of life to me these days.

 

People here seem quick to smile, eager eyes are seeking peace.

Hearts aren’t frigid, just seeking life, hoping still – in spite of strife.

Lazy conversations flow; laughter flows like sun warmed air.

Breezes stirring, so now must break, this stifling vice of oven heat.

 

Time is gentle, when you stop and see. Life is meeting you and me.

Day’s song builds and then it fades, as night caresses ocean’s breeze.

To adapt to all our phases, never running when its better walked.

Holding hands, slowly learning, dancing through this life we brave.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Living in mystery

Mystery is without.

Unseen yet felt, a hint that breathes a fragrance of possibility. Unknown, yet hauntingly familiar, this tendril calls each one forward. It is an echo of a song that is new, and so I ponder – how can I hope for something that I have not yet known? Yet I do!

Stirrings, that hint of things that are shaking. Imponderables that move with a precision which I can’t define! Force that quiets my heart and yet makes it beat wildly. It clearly is an invitation to each one who has any sense of imagination. Questions in the night!

Sleeping, yet on the verge of wakefulness. Images cascade and grand visions speak portents of destiny – which slowly fade as I awake. Disturbance quivers on the surface of my soul as if brushed by a touch of electricity. I seek, yet I cannot speak!

Confidence – courage leaping as if a trout out of water; explosive in it’s expression! Where did that come from? Out of the depths, unusual images that impinge on mundane circumstances. Familiarity shifts, momentary fractals appear in my reality. Why now?

A greater reality sits behind. I run and yet I hope I am found! Purpose chases me and I myself seek answers to enigmas within my being. Fountains hint at vitality that should be, but somehow fades! The mystique of an essence trapped within yet waiting to kiss my future.

Mystery is within.

Author – Bill Tidsbury