A Different Me

Culture, a way of being. It seems so settled, till we meet another living differently! My way seems so secure. “Of course, it all makes sense!” Until another – sees another me. How can that be! Who am I?  The one I knew or the one they see? It’s not a fight, it’s  just a change -both/and not either/or. So I live, alive and well, still learning more of what I will. I grow in light and see you there – a different me!

Culture, a way to see, a way to speak. It frames my thoughts and tunes my ties. It is and so am I! I live with you and we agree, to walk beside and dance with tunes. My feet are free- never stepping on your toes! Then somehow you appear beside, wildly suggesting a new dance tune. The dance is strange – so I must change! My habits deep, now disagree, this cannot be the way to dance with me! And yet I sense the joy!

Dancing with you, changes me! I’m alive to see my feet once more. They awkward feel and yet they seem – alive again! Soon, I am learning to be me, alive with you – and different within me! I now am learning, more of me. I see the world through different eyes. My world has changed! It’s grander still. Life is to be lived – not boxed! So now I bless this day, that opened eyes, and gave me more. I rest with arms spread wide!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Spirituality and Presence

The essence of my reality, as I walk through life, is that I have been granted the astounding grace of being united with a human being named Jesus.  The inexplicable process of how the almighty creator became human is not something I understand. It is equally inconceivable how it is that He has chosen to draw me deep into His heart, into His reality.

I live with my feet in two worlds. One is essentially 3 dimensional and in many ways overpowering to my senses. The other is spiritual, which sounds ethereal, and yet is not. It’s substance continuously expands my awareness of what’s possible and shifts my comprehension of seeing.

As I feel heart pain and struggle and see the devastation of poverty, I do find it easy to begin to shut down – to distance myself in some way from the inhumanity of powerless poverty. Yet, I also find something surging in me as I learn to see differently. I sense the immensity of a superseding reality of a good Daddy God who actually is eager to intervene in the misery which I see. Eager to see through my eyes. He is intensely passionate about expressing Himself through my hands, through my words.

It is one thing to imagine some deity actually interested in my small interactions – it is another thing to sense power flow, to see change occur, to observe real physical miracles occur. I can sense when it happens! It isn’t about my capacity. It isn’t about the way I set my mouth or frame my words. It is tied in some yet unknown way, to my internal connection to that other world and the reality that I actually can see out of His reality into mine. When that occurs, I sense the shift in perception. I sense a shift in my internal balancing of these immense realities. I shift from hoping , to one of knowing. A certainty that flows from out side of myself and breathes anticipation and vitality!

I’m on a journey, as we all are, to understand the nature of our world. A journey to comprehend the realities of both spirit and natural. It is a journey of growth, of development. It is a journey inherently dependent on humility, on compassion, on transparency and vulnerability. All of these things do not come easily to me!

Somehow, something is morphing within my being. I am more comfortable with mystery. I am more accepting of the reality that I can’t control very much and I am prone to mistakes. I am easily confused and distracted! And yet, I am pulled in with ever increasing excitement as I taste something that is truly breath taking. Something freeing and extravagant. Something so good, I laugh every time I am brushed by His essence.

So gradually, I am learning to rest – to dwell – in quiet acceptance of the beauty of being drawn close to a mighty heart that breathes love, gentleness, compassion, goodness, laughter and creativity. A heart that is ever so eager to freely act to lighten people’s loads, with no prior requirements of any kind! A heart that is truly delightful in all its effervescence. A being that is powerful beyond comprehension, yet sits quietly as I adjust myself to the beauty of being found in Him.

Life is good. Life is rich. Life is so freeing! So I live in hope and yearn for more of the fire of His reality!!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Searching

Searching, as I wander, looking into doors. I stop and sort of puzzle, why my seeing is unsure. I catch a glimpse of sparkles. I seek a subtle key. Yet always hear a whisper, I’m sitting on your knee!

It’s hard to find your way, when things aren’t well defined. It really’s quite confusing, when most around seem blind. When seeing, yet you stumble, and finding only grasps a wisp, why is it I keep seeking, when what I find seems limp?

And yet I’ve touched some music. I’ve sensed a glorious roar. It wakens all my senses. It calls me up to more. I know within I’m changing. I can feel the hidden song, it’s close to breaking outwards, I can’t wait to sing along.

So still, I sit unsettled. I’m tired yet somehow free. I sit here waiting quietly for the next hint on the breeze. I haven’t fully tasted. I’ve felt the hint and soared. I simply always wonder, where have I not yet explored!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Life’s smile

Self

knowing blessing,

celebrating diverse harmonies.

Tranquility sustaining peaceful stillness.

Creative energies focusing boundless curiosity.

Truly seeing the moments, engaging passionately.

Wind blowing, storm crashing, wines vitality tasted!

Life’s smile, laughter shared by firelight.

Intimacy embraced, heart to heart.

Possibility ripening in season.

Safety without walls.

Tastes good!

Fractal

Author – Bill Tidsbury