Life within me

Life within me , life around me, life that flows in endless ways. I am laughing, I am soaring, in this wonder quite divine. It astounds me, it confounds me, it sure sparkles up my days. I am vital, I dance slowly as I float away in praise!

Life is seeing, in your eyes the slow undoing of pain’s surprise. Life is being, in all my senses, captivating  beauty’s gaze. As I blossom and as I flourish, in the abundance of a kiss so sweet, I am settled in the knowing I am found and made complete !

Life exploding in its essence, it defines all things before. It is painting, and creating, such a story of renown. I can lift up hands that hang down, I can leap upon what’s dark. I am warring for the wonder of this love that’s made me spark.

Life within me, life around me, life that flows in  endless ways. I am settled in accepting, of this destiny engraved. I’m contagious, I”m spontaneous, and my journey has just begun. Now exploring the glorious notion of this unity profound.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Facing the questions

As I meander in my journey, I am recognizing that all questions must be faced!

For example, the question – “Why do I crave something addictive?”- is at the root of many broken areas of life. Whether it is a chemical substance, an adrenaline rush or simply approval, if I do not find an answer, I will live in a shadow world – never realizing freedom. Always hiding, always struggling.

The challenge is to recognize those moments when the question comes bubbling up into my conscious mind as a gift of grace! The exact moment in time that it flows into my awareness is actually a moment primed for discovery! The moment has intruded in discomfort! It has grabbed my attention as circumstances have shone a spotlight on some aspect of my life that permits my eyes to see clearly, if only for a few minutes.

The questions when they float up into my thoughts, invite me to honesty. Each question asks me to face my fears and sorrows. Rejection, confusion, and intentional harm are part of life. Each event slices me open in many and varied ways. All of them unique, all of them painful! Generally I learn to run and hide, be angry, be busy, be dismissive, be arrogant, be strong, or be victimized. All of it, in a pattern of my own evolution.

The challenge is to let my journey teach me a courage that is grounded in hope. When I can not believe I really have a capacity greater than that which I have realized to date, I “have to” hide in fear. I can be so sure that I am on the brink of discovering my innate lack of significance! I will run away from this nightmare!

Yet, the journey also draws me into encounters that show me that I have purpose. It reveals unique attributes that no one else can quite exhibit – in the unique way I do. I find those others on the journey who delight in that uniqueness and find me quite refreshing – if I but have the courage to reveal myself and not merely be a mirror reflecting back the jumble of my bustling surroundings.

Each of us needs to find an answer to this question- “Who will look into my eyes and find me precious, or cherished, or loved?” I can be part of that answer! It does not take too much progress in the journey to discover that there is a spiritual reality that causes each one of us to sparkle in ways that makes me truly beautiful to any one who has eyes to see. Catch the sparkle – be the answer. Face the questions, find the answers! I have always been surprised by how many have been waiting to meet me! You will too!

Thirteen years old

Bright eyes, gentle spirit,

something stirs within her heart.

Soft eyes, depths within,

highlight joy’s insightful grin.

 

Spirit song, awakening mind,

sparkles seem to fly around.

Spotlight, on an artist new born,

Living gentleness easily torn.

 

Whisper’s memory, echoes grace,

Love’s release lifts brown skinned face.

Wispy curl, encapsulating life,

living to bless in spite of strife.

 

Destiny surges, mystery sings,

opening up this young girls wings.

Hope’s foundation links to heaven.

Welcome, to her love’s strong haven!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Love that roars

Love,

exclusive, consuming,

this fire that envelopes.

Feeling,

a stirring, a roaring

that breathes fierce.

Joyful,

in singing,

a song that’s not just whispered,

I’m alive in spirit – my colours all have bloomed.

Eyes,

that pierce me, cradle me,

opening dreams within.

Tears,

that bathe me, soothing

wounds that tear this bleeding heart.

Quieted,

in sweetness,

so safe to be made new;

eternity’s sweet grace has overwritten strife!

Resting!

Vital! You make me bright.

I shiver, so delighted by your touch.

Wonder,

I’m breathless,

I stretch beyond capacity.

Sparkling!

I’m drunk,

my life’s been wired for  living;

identity’s engraved with electricity!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

I’m possible (impossible)

Wandering echoes within my heart, sure seem to hint at things that aren’t. Yet as I meander on the beach, I sense the waves and feel the heat. The smooth and gentle motion flows between my senses and then slowly goes,  to a hidden place, lost and faintly felt; to nether realms where they simply melt.

Yet though unseen, unfelt, and flown, they hint at more of me I wish I’d known. At times I wake as if from dreams, quite sure I’ve tasted of something keen. But no, on waking as I look about, I’m still within the same old boat. A tear leeks out on the worst of days, I had so hoped, I wasn’t in some daze!

And yet, one word when spoken with light, can come along and twist this plight. This word that glows and brings sparkle’s reign, burrows deep within my dreary plain. It stirs up something within the maze and suddenly the ground is crazed.  Momentary shift, with laughter brimming , I’m curious now – “Where have you been hiding!”

When mystery rises, and pressure roars, from deep within my unknown shores, I must decide and dare to breathe; I leap and move, though sure I can’t leave. Within this tension, I’m caught in worry, between a  past that smothers and new hope’s full story. There’s passion soaring yet fears start roaming, I feel choked and frozen – but hah!!- something is growing!

The moment explodes, and now I know,

I can step away (and be safe today)

– or –

I forget my grief and feel the flow,

I follow the dance, I sparkle with joy. It’s when I know fear’s only a ploy. So I break with shame and find my life, I fly up high when I’m not in strife.  I shatter the stillness of death’s embrace, and open my heart to Your hidden face.

I dance with You, all my answers are gone! And yet i’m sure, that I’m known and found. A waltz invites, creativity cascades. Multivariate universes just seem to rave! What I knew of me, seems now so faint, and I wonder how I could have been so quaint! I’m possible, engaging, I’m stepping free, my song’s a delight when sung with glee!

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Knowing

i am drawn into a knowing, a certainty unfolding,

its essence is so delicate, it is hard to even explore!

It fills when i am not looking, it soaks my inner world

by shifting frames and opening these depths unfathomable.

It’s substance is eternal, it neither shifts nor dims.

It’s fabric enshrouds my being,

infinity’s reality through these unseen reflections.

It invades this space – where it has always been –

it’s my home – a place of being found in you,

where i am always meant to be.

There is no hurry, there is no speed – yet instant is a reality apart from me.

Glory morphs – yet is as always has been.

Perspective shifts,

the thread to my naturalness is strained!

Then,

recreated in multicoloured hues,

so startling -sparkling and iridescent.

To be with you in holiness, to be with you in life.

This one most deeply anchored, has life unshakeable.

Author – Bill Tidsbury