Facing the questions

As I meander in my journey, I am recognizing that all questions must be faced!

For example, the question – “Why do I crave something addictive?”- is at the root of many broken areas of life. Whether it is a chemical substance, an adrenaline rush or simply approval, if I do not find an answer, I will live in a shadow world – never realizing freedom. Always hiding, always struggling.

The challenge is to recognize those moments when the question comes bubbling up into my conscious mind as a gift of grace! The exact moment in time that it flows into my awareness is actually a moment primed for discovery! The moment has intruded in discomfort! It has grabbed my attention as circumstances have shone a spotlight on some aspect of my life that permits my eyes to see clearly, if only for a few minutes.

The questions when they float up into my thoughts, invite me to honesty. Each question asks me to face my fears and sorrows. Rejection, confusion, and intentional harm are part of life. Each event slices me open in many and varied ways. All of them unique, all of them painful! Generally I learn to run and hide, be angry, be busy, be dismissive, be arrogant, be strong, or be victimized. All of it, in a pattern of my own evolution.

The challenge is to let my journey teach me a courage that is grounded in hope. When I can not believe I really have a capacity greater than that which I have realized to date, I “have to” hide in fear. I can be so sure that I am on the brink of discovering my innate lack of significance! I will run away from this nightmare!

Yet, the journey also draws me into encounters that show me that I have purpose. It reveals unique attributes that no one else can quite exhibit – in the unique way I do. I find those others on the journey who delight in that uniqueness and find me quite refreshing – if I but have the courage to reveal myself and not merely be a mirror reflecting back the jumble of my bustling surroundings.

Each of us needs to find an answer to this question- “Who will look into my eyes and find me precious, or cherished, or loved?” I can be part of that answer! It does not take too much progress in the journey to discover that there is a spiritual reality that causes each one of us to sparkle in ways that makes me truly beautiful to any one who has eyes to see. Catch the sparkle – be the answer. Face the questions, find the answers! I have always been surprised by how many have been waiting to meet me! You will too!

Transitions

Every time I move across a cultural divide, I am shocked by the adjustment I have to make. Since I am repeatedly traveling back and forth between Canada and Honduras, I would think I would get used to it! Yet, I still find it a surprising shift.

I find I am comfortable in both cultures. I just live with different priorities and perspectives in each one! When I settle into Latin America, I slow down. I open up my being – to people’s eyes and hearts. People are expressive and willing to meet me with open eyes. I must unlearn my more guarded instincts that come from the busyness of our first world approach to life. I leave behind the guarded expectation of distrust and find I must actually step out into the embrace of people who are more willing to smile, to acknowledge lack and need, to give a warm embrace and a kiss on the cheek.

Vulnerability is a tDSCN1906reasure that we have exploited in our western agenda driven world. Vulnerability is valued in a different way in other cultures. All people guard themselves – it is part of human instinct. We have all been injured – in fact, repeatedly through life. Latin culture with it’s focus on emotional expression, gives people a deeper instinctive set of tools to read and mesh with those who live transparently and offer safety to a wounded heart. This set of tools is a gift to those who learn to walk in vulnerability through a broken world. I have much to learn from this culture!
So i find myself shifting gears. I find my antenna tuned differently. I find my heart engaging in a different way with my spirit. A fresh breath reaches out to caress my soul. I quiet myself to a new round of learning.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Love’s found joy

Trust is instinctive,

a reaction embedded

when brushing by others.

You step on the stage,

and show I can live,

scandalously free.

 

Trust is essential

to breathing and more.

Trust is from heaven.

A mystery so great!

It washes my pain

with your eyes that rain!

 

Trust is a beauty,

with eyes fixed

upon me,

protecting me,

lavishing sparkles,

that flow through my day.

 

Trust is a whisper,

that hints of a promise,

while splashing my dance floor

with music so lively,

it brings me vitality

while quieting fear.

 

Trust meets me kissing,

inviting transparency,

blessing with secrets

the one who would dare

caress me with tenderness

while holding me bare.

 

Trust is between us.

so your eyes gives me wings!

My heart begins flying,

cause trust leapt to soar.

Trust is my freedom

because love’s found joy.

Author – Bill Tidsbury

Hiding safely!

Walls-

everywhere there’s walls.

Here, nicely arranged with beautiful flowers.

There, purple contrasted with brilliant yellow!

Hiding immovable foundations,

keeping people out!

Safety lies within,

Until I’m all alone!

Alone –

it feels good at first, when I’m feeling scared.

It’s kind of cozy, sort of like home-

yet missing the familiar fragrance of life.

It seems reasonable!

It feels wise.

Why does it feel like a cage?

Hearts –

I sense beauty in your eyes!

Life, it invites to playful grace.

I fall within your walls and find

a city on a hill!

Transparency heals my wings,

I laugh and then I soar!

Together is better than one!